In my work with parents there are things I have learned that can be applied more generally to most parents. Today I want to share the first of these general tips that can help parents who are struggling with their children's behavior.
First I have to say that I have had long difficult days. I have spent weeks on end working one-on-one with a child with difficult behaviors and then come home to hear my own child say or do something that just grates on me. It is frustrating, it is hard to control the snap. Life seems to at times "pile on". Money is tight, something breaks and then you hear the "my teacher says I need a new ... tomorrow." All you want to do is yell, scream, and maybe crawl under a rock.
As a therapist the first thing I do as I sit and hear about this struggle is tell you, "that is rough." You are going through a lot right now. Recognize your different stresses. If you have to write it down, tell someone, or just take some time for yourself to look at what is happening and admit that this is complicated, this is frustrating. By recognizing the struggle, you have taken the first step to being able to manage yourself when you then are interacting with others, including your children. By knowing your frustrated you already realize that it is not your child or the immediate problem that is the cause of how your are already feeling.
Tip number 2 is the miracle tip to calming your child. It needs tip 1 of self awareness. Keep looking for the next tip.
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